This is one of the things that she mentions a lot of in Created to Be His Helpmeet,(Debi Pearl). She tells how so many women get all twisted up inside about chores that husbands didn't do, or didn't do "properly", and how their marriages are negatively effected by this. Those undone "things" have the wife so in bondage, they don't respond well to their husbands. The husbands feel this scorn or unapprectiation, and tend to withdraw even more, perhaps doing even less than before...Do you see this spiral? Now many might say,"But he should do such-and-such. That is his responsibility! No wonder she is so unhappy!"
Yes, our husbands should be willing to serve us, but husbands are fallible men, who fail, just as we are fallible women who fail. So frequently we (esp stay at home moms) might not get that shirt ironed because we had a "hard" day and curled up with a novel all day, and when he needs that shirt, we want our husband's grace for our failing, but watch out if the reverse happens!!
So, back to the main thought. How can you be a blessing to your husband today?? Can you do a chore he usually does and not put on the martyr complex about it? Could you do that plus make his favorite dessert at suppertime? Not because he deserves it, but because he is your husband and the Scriptures say to honor him? Roll up your sleeves, and get out and mow the lawn, take out the garbage, bake a pie, get sneaky with the Lord and say," Lord, how else can we serve that man of ours today??" And see what may happen!!