Wish I Knew How to Bring About Change

After doing a lot of contemplating, I'm still at a loss as to how to work on losing weight...I know ALL the tricks and tips...I know what is good nourishing food...and what isn't.  But knowing them doesn't do any good as I willingly suck down coffee, carbs, and sugar...and have no desire to eat the fresh tomatoes my boys are scarfing so happily...See, the weird thing is, there are somethings that I can turn away from just fine...Like soda for instance.  I would rather drink water than soda (most of the time!), but years ago, while still in high school, I got in the bad habit of often eating some snack food at lunch time with a can of soda.  After doing this 3 times a week for a while, I started noticing that I was experiencing stomach pains quite often.  So I switched to milk and stopped the soda and tried to eat regular lunch more often.  The pains ceased.  To this day, I drink maybe 4-6 glasses of soda per  year.  Not a temptation for me at all.  Same as for chips and other savory snacks.  Pretzels?  Corn chips?  Not a problem...Very little temptation.  Can take it or leave it.  But a GF double chocolate chip muffin?  Give me 2--with BUTTER, and a cup of java to boot, with sugar and cream....  and the more I seem to think about it and stress over it, the worse it gets...the only other thing I can think of is that my activity level needs to increase...but  I just don't see how that can happen...yuck...feeling defeated...

Beginning My Thyroid Journey

Hello my friends.  I just got off of a website called www.stopthethyroidmadness.com that has some very informative information concerning thyroid issues, mainly, low thyroid.  It includes a long list of symptoms that many many thyroid patients complained of even when their TSH levels were "normal", and they could find no doctor to really listen and look for answers, because the labs were trusted over symptom reversal...I am going to print this out and take it to my doctor to review...I have had some weird health issues over the last 18 months or so, that haven't seemed like a big deal, but have me stumped...and the strange thing is that so many of them seem unrelated...Several months ago, I was struck with a severe case of plantar faschiitis(foot/heel pain), so I figured it was related to tendons, ligaments, and improper foot support and bought inserts for my shoes (which have seemed to help some).  In the same space of time, I have fought high yeast (candida) levels and took anti-yeast medications twice to combat this.  I have also had insanely itchy ears for the last 2 years--so itchy I wanted to claw them, kind of itchy...How interesting is it that every one of those symptoms are on the low thyroid symptom list?  All told, I'd say that I have about 22 of the symptoms listed.  And yet, never once til just recently have any of the doctors even suspected it was low thyroid.  Oh, and even Celiac Disease can be a common indicator of this problem!  Most seriously, however, has been my weird menstrual cycles, and the apparent inability to become pregnant(yes, we are still willing to have more babies!), which has obviously never been a problem before.  Anyway, I found this to be very interesting, and hopeful, in that perhaps there is a relatively easy answer to the weirdness I have been experiencing of recent months and in this blog I would love to hear your thoughts and possibly your own stories, if any of you find simlar struggles...

GF Cookie--Milano-Style Mint Chocolate Cremes

My dear hubby mentioned, upon receiving a bag of Pepperidge Farm Mint/choc Milanos, that he thought my cookies were better!  Now that  made me feel about 2 inches tall, because in my book, cookies don't get much better than Pepperidge Farm...(not that I have eaten them lately..)  Anyway, his words inspired me to formulate a recipe for something similar gluten free...so here it is...and they are heavenly!
1 1/2 cps GF flours(I used even parts of brown rice flour, potato starch, and tapioca starch)
3/4 tsp xanthan gum                     Choc filling:  1/3 cp semi sweet chips
3/4 cps sugar                                                   1/4 cp evap milk
1/4 tsp salt                                                       2 Tbsp powdered sugar
1 tsp baking powder                                        2-3 drops mint oil
4 Tbsp butter                                                   1 Tbsp butter
2Tbsp oil                                                         -melt together in double boiler and whisk til smooth
vanilla to taste
1 egg
2-3 tsp water

In food processor, cut flour and dry stuff with butter and oil and sugar.  Add eggs and things and pulse til dough forms.  In 2 batches, roll dough into a long rectangle about 3 inches by 12-15 inches.  Using a pizza cutter, cut into 1.5 inch strips, by 3 inches.  Place on cookie sheet.  Drop carefully a rounded spoonful of filling in the middle of each cookie strip.  Cover with another strip and press edges gently.  Bake at 375* for 12 minutes or until golden...cool on rack...eat with milk...ahhhhh.....should make about 15-20/ 3 inch cookies

More Thoughts on Health and Weight

I have continued to think about this difficulty (unfortunately, think is all I have managed to do) with making consistent choices in diet and exercise regimens.  I don't know if anyone else has struggled in this way, but I also have been dealing with some undiagnosed health issues that are kind of stressing me out.  I'm going to an endocrinologist now, and he's looking for specific clues...  So, I'm all freaked out about what he might find...does anyone else eat when they are stressed?  The problem is, being overweight probably just makes the existing issues worse...it's awful...when I have something yummy at my fingertips, I'm seized with a frantic desire to grab right now, because someone might eat it later and I'll miss my chance!  Eeeeek!  What's wrong with me? 
Recently the Lord has healed my heart concerning a relationship where I was sinking under bitterness and resentment...and I know for a fact that He took my heart of stone and gave me a heart of flesh...So how does the Lord play into what and how we eat and the lifestyle we live?  I want to be healthy...I've been healthier...and felt better...but there are times when knowing that I have to endure a million "no's" over the course of 6+months in order to gain victory, makes me just not want to try...it feels so depriving...like I'm losing some kind of source of joy or fulfillment...that's never quite done or full(no pun intended)...
Along that topic...I wonder if a lot of mothers (especially of small children) end up using food to "feel good"...since we rarely can do much of what we used to do to "feel good"...but I also wonder, then, if the ways in which we used to "feel good" weren't all that profitable...in the long run...if I take the time to dwell on it, my clean kitchen makes me feel good, but not in the same way drawing or painting does...I spent a LOT of time drawing and painting as a young person...now, I spend a lot of time cleaning my kitchen...but unfortunately, it tends to be messier than cleaner....I rarely draw or paint...only sew occasionally...food is a "feel good" thing, that happens pretty much right now...or whenever I want to...whereas the other things happen rarely...but lots of other things happen, like tons of laundry...scads of dishes...piles of swept up dirt...mopped floors and so on...but none of those are "feel good" things...and you know they will be there later today to do again and again... And I come full circle...because what I think the Lord is trying to show me is how many treasures on earth I have sought...and sunk to looking to foods for delight...because no matter how well I draw or paint...no matter how delish my baking...or how tidy my house...they are all made of things that will NOT stand the test of eternity...only HE will...and what prevents me from filling up on Him?  Oh, lots of things...distractions...kids...tasks...my unfaithful heart...the fact that He wants all of me...and that sounds so hard...and total and complete...my heart, over the years, has not developed a taste for Him...no...too busy developing a taste for the things (even good things) of this world...things that really have no lasting significance...my drawings will fade...my paintings will never be Ver Meer...my ability to enjoy food will fade...food itself won't usher me into eternity...but He will... 
I find it ironic that while I have such strong convictions on some things, others are harder to put backbone into...in high school, my stance for purity before marriage was VERY strong...my stance against things like smoking and drinking and drug use was also immovable....but when it comes to food?  Chocolate and the like?   I turn into a jellyfish...But what to do?  Can't turn nun and disappear away from temptation for 6 months...Can't make a resolve...No more cooking!  I have to...My family needs me to feed them...Just don't know how to handle the next 6 months or so and actually achieve victory...it has to come choice by choice, decision by decision, purchase by purchase...sigh...I think I'll go cry...

Quilt Doings

Here's the pic of the quilt top I'm working on.  I think it's coming out pretty nice.  I can't wait to get to the quilting part....I find it sooo relaxing...Speaking of which, should I quilt in small squares, circles, or some other shape?  I've seen fans, hearts, flowers, or some combination.  Can you believe that it is entirely made from acquired fabric scraps and/or sheets from goodwill?  I've thought briefly about attempting to make quilts to sell...Economy Quilts...What color should the back be? Solid, print?  I have two shades of blue, light pink, or a pink and green print....Even the batting is thrifted from a $2.99 comforter...watcha think?

Great Post on the Home

My good friend over the internet, Kelly Crawford, at www.generationcedar.com has done an articulate and thoughtful set of posts on the purpose of the home at the above website...check em out if you want something to think about!

Today's doings:  patched some jeans, made lemon meringue tarts, and a yummy dinner of broiled chicken, roasted potaotes, and florentine veggies(the platter is the left overs).  The members of Sunday School may be interested in the fact that the tarts will probably make it to church in the morning:)